Aaron Rodgers' Neighborhood » idiocy

Josh Howard Proves Himself Totally Useless

admin — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 15:54:27 +0000

The Washington Wizards just can’t win. Yesterday the Wizards lost recently-traded-for Josh Howard for the season with a torn ACL. Howard was playing in just his fourth game with the Wizards against the Bulls, when he collided with Flip Murray in the first quarter and had to be helped off the floor. Now the Wizards have just 10 players on their active roster, Warriors-style.

While getting hurt like this isn’t Howard’s fault, it certainly doesn’t help the image of a guy who’s had his share of off the court troubles. Lately, there was the rumor (from multiple team sources) that Howard was forced to sit out a game while with the Mavericks against the Wizards on January 20th because of a hangover. Then there was a run of incidents in 2008, where Howard admitted on a radio station that he smokes pot during a playoff series against the Hornets. Only a few days later, after the Mavs lost a key game to the Hornets, Howard passed out fliers in the locker room to his birthday party, prompting then coach Avery Johnson to cancel practice in a fury. Later in the summer, Howard was arrested in North Carolina for street racing. Then, not thinking that was enough for a summer, a video of Howard surfaced with him disparaging the national anthem, saying: “I don’t celebrate this [beep]. I’m black.” So shockingly, the Mavs wanted to get rid of Howard, who has a $11.5 million option coming up.

Oh wait, I guess Howard isn’t totally useless to the Wizards. They can decline his option and take his expiring contract off their books…and that’s about the only benefit Howard provides these days that’s worth anything.

When, Oh When, Will Athletes Stop Taking Naked Pictures of Themselves?

admin — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 15:52:22 +0000

These guys never learn. Greg Oden, who obviously doesn’t have a lot to do since he is again injured for the rest of this season, is now the latest idiot to fall victim to his own desire to take photos of himself naked with his phone. Photos have surfaced on this internet of Oden in the buff,taken himself with his cell phone. Oden has admitted that the pictures are indeed of him and apologized.

It’s not like Oden is the first person to fall victim to the self-taken nudie photos leaked on the internet. First, there was Steelers kicker Jeff Reed, who pretty much did the same thing. Then there was Wake QB Riley Skinner, who also took a picture of himself naked. Third, there was one of the stupidest ones, were Redskins tight end Chris Cooley posted a picture of himself reading his playbook on his blog…problem was he was reading the book in the nude and you could see a little too much info in the picture.

So here’s my plea to athletes out there:

Dear Professional/College Athlete:

Hey, I get it, you really want to take a naked picture of yourself, I mean who doesn’t really? But before you do, think for a second. If you take a picture, presumably you want to share it with someone. Now, will you be with that special someone forever? Chances are the answer is no. Now, if this person say, wants to make a buck, or let’s say is pissed about the fact that you no longer are seeing each other and wants vengeance, where do you think they will go first? THE NUDIE PHOTOS. Why? Because you are a celebrity, and the best way to get back at you is to embarrass you in public. And what better way than to expose your private parts to the world and show them what a perv you are? You may think, no no that can’t happen to me. You’re young, you’re rich, your love with your nudie photo recipient will last forever. But look around man, this has happened to so many people! You aren’t invincible! People will post your nudie photos and they will make it onto the Huffington Post where everyone will look at them, or at least know you took them. So next time you get that urge to photograph your junk, DON’T DO IT. For you, for me, and for the United States of America.

Love,

Aaron Rodgers’ Neighborhood.

These guys need a support group or something.

Update: Arenas Offically Charged

admin — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 07:26:20 +0000

As expected, Gilbert Arenas was charged with felony possession of an unlicensed firearm. However, the charges were filed in D.C. Superior Court through a process known as an “information,” which is apparently used to notice charges when a plea agreement has been reached.

Sounds to me like Gilbert has a plea agreement– definitely the wisest of the limited number of options Arenas had.

Agent Zero, Not Licensed to Kill…

admin — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 07:24:06 +0000

…Let alone bring firearms from Virginia to the District of Columbia. Word on the street is that Gilbert Arenas is in negotations with prosecutors for a plea deal relating to the gun charges that could be levied against Arenas soon. If I were Arenas’s attorney I would get him to cop a plea, and soon. Want to know why?

1. He’s going to be indicited by the grand jury if he doesn’t plead out. Currently, testimony is being heard by a grand jury which will decide whether or not to indicit Gilbert Arenas on charges related to holding an ulicensed firearm (a felony with a max of 5 years in federal pound-me-in-the-ass-prison), which I might add Gilbert has allegedly done 4 times. For those of you that don’t know about the way a grand jury works, it’s basically stacked against the defendant. The prosecution gets to call all the witnesses it wants to try to prove to a jury that probable cause exists to indict the defendant on the charges the prosecution wants levied. The defense on the other hand has no ability to call witnesses or testify on their own behalf. Basically it’s like a trial where the prosecution gets to present all its evidence and the defense doesn’t. Wouldn’t you convict if you only saw one side of the evidence?

2. If he gets indicted, there’s a lot of evidence against him–he’ll be convicted. Basically Arenas has admitted to the public through his last appology statement that he brought firearms into the Washington Wizards locker room. Those firearms were purchased in Virginia and weren’t registered in D.C. Oops, you violated the law and told everyone in public you did it. Kind of an open and shut case.

3. If he gets convicted, won’t be much mercy. If you are looking for mitigating circumstances to bring down Arenas’s sentence, there aren’t a lot. Although Arenas released several public statements appologizing for his conduct and saying what he did was wrong, his own actions have shown he doesn’t think his gun possession was all that serious. In particular, Arenas tweeted making light of the fact that he got busted (“i wake up this morning and seen i was the new JOHN WAYNE. lmao media is too funny.”), laughed about the incident and said that he pulled out the guns “as a joke,” and was caught on camera using his fingers as fake guns in jest before a Wizards game after the gun showdown story broke. It’s patently obvious that anything relased to the media by Arenas was written by some PR guy or an attorney and that he wasn’t taking the charges seriously. A lack of remorse for your crime isn’t a good way to get your sentence reduced. I bet the DA will throw the book at him if they can and make an example out of him like Plaxico Burress.

So Agent Zero, your mission is now to plead out as fast as you can, especially if you can somehow avoid jail time. Otherwise, your defense is mission impossible.